Slender Man should’ve been titled Generic Horror Movie.

This poor excuse of a film takes one of the most legitimately terrifying and intriguing horror myths of the 21st century and absolutely brutalizes it with horrendous, nonsensical plotting, characters that are bland beyond belief, and an indefensibly uninspired and hackneyed screenplay. The dialogue in particular is truly atrocious, even by low-bar horror movie standards.

For a movie with a runtime of a mere 93 minutes, this borefest drags. I probably checked my…

Surprisingly, Cats is never quite as eccentric as expected, resulting in an erratic and often enjoyable musical extravaganza that experiences occasional lulls in its energy, only to be continually saved by the charisma of its cast.

As far as the story goes... forget it, it’s Cats. To be fair, the film gets by on this playful plotlessness for the first hour, as it manically maneuvers from musical sequence to musical sequence, allowing audiences to glimpse this whimsical world through the…

Lol, absolutely not.

Idina Menzel and Billy Porter innocent. Camila Cabello and James Corden need to be tried for crimes against humanity.

Look, Cinderella is my favorite Disney princess, and the story is one I hold near and dear to my heart for many reasons, so I was always gonna be apprehensive of any adaptation following Kenneth Branagh’s masterful reinvigoration of the classic tale in 2015. As others before me have pointed out, this does everything wrong that that film…

While not the absolute trainwreck I had anticipated going in, Holmes & Watson is nevertheless a notable step-down from the giddy heights of Talladega Nights and Step Brothers for the talented duo of Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly.

For starters, writer/director Etan Cohen is no Adam McKay. Since McKay has moved onto to more "prestige" fare, the irreverence and spunk he brought to features like Talladega Nights and Step Brothers is sorely missed. His scripts certainly bordered on stupidity at times,…