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I did not like this. :(

Wallace Shawn plays Dr. Van Helsing. There are SEVERAL significant similarities to the Twilight Universe. What more do you need to know?

“You just gestured to all of me.”

It’s fascinating because you can certainly see some of the budgetary limitations (most notably the heavy use of fog so that backgrounds can remain on the shallower end), but now that we have a live action comparison, it becomes all the more obvious how exceptional a film this is. The use of animation allows for more exaggerated expressions, character designs, and movement and that only adds to the wondrous qualities of the work. This also has a much more comedic tone carrying it along than I ed which ends up amplifying the emotional core of the film that’s lurking behind all the silliness. Couldn’t stop the tears from forming quite a few times. Felt a lot, which is an especially big compliment when the shot-for-shot live action remake made me feel…. nothing.

It’s not just that these type of films devalue animation (which they do, despite also relying on it heavily), it’s that they’re also actively devaluing the experiences that audiences deserve. Recycling the same stories over and over and over again puts us in a cultural loop where the deeper political themes of the art we engage with grows increasingly stale and pushed to the background. Studios don’t need to continue to push the boundaries of storytelling when they can just reheat something we’ve already had. It’s disingenuous, even when it tries its best to capture the emotions of its source material. 

A positive would be that of the two animated films directed by Dean DeBlois that have gotten the live action treatment in the past month, this is the better one. At least How to Train Your Dragon lets a shot last longer than 3 seconds as opposed to the frantically nauseating collection of image flashes that is Lilo & Stitch. But what kind of praise is that really? A real shame that so much time and money was spent on this rather than something new.

House of Cinema episode coming next week.

The commentary on how women are treated in the industry probably would have landed a lot better if it weren’t for the fact the film also spends a lot of time encouraging unhealthy body image standards in its youngest female character. Pfeiffer and Ronan are a wonderfully engaging pair as mother and daughter and they have delightful back and forth. Or they do until the focus turns towards men and women’s bodies and you can see the cycle continuing without any sort of interrogation. In fact!!! I Could Never Be Your Woman essentially presents these harmful behaviors as a part of Mother Nature’s plan and intention. Not in my world, honey! To be fair, this is from 2007 and the world, especially Hollywood, was still deep in the jaws of eating disorder iration and blatant plastic surgery idolatry. I think the film’s failed social commentary feels more glaring and frustrating though because it does make a great effort at depicting the ridiculous ways women were treated in the television space and the unfair double standards placed upon them versus their male peers.

Ending was very sweet, even though the whole thing did leave a nasty taste in my mouth.

Emma is an ultimately lackluster version of this story despite its exceptional cast because it prioritizes the romance so much that all else is squandered. Rather ironic a problem to carry in a film about a young woman so obsessed with finding love for others that she unseeingly causes harm repeatedly. Also… How do you make an Emma adaptation and not include one of the most romantic lines in the world? Bizarre choices. Still had a good deal of fun, I laughed quite a bit thanks mostly to the edit. I carry so much affection for these characters in my heart. It pains me to feel such dissatisfaction with this iteration of their story.

“I burn my life to make a sunrise that I know I’ll never see.”

The novelization made Jyn’s sacrifices heavier. Andor made Cassian’s even more so. Genuinely gut-wrenching work. Not a single inch of victory is made possible without the sacrifice of countless people, some we know and love greatly, even more that we will never know the names of. Their willingness to risk it all for our tomorrow is something that must be treasured and acknowledged every day that we get to carry forward.

I hope I never ever forget the sound of my mom laughing so hard she can’t breathe as Melissa McCarthy shits in a sink. Can properly confirm my previous belief that this movie is way better when I’m watching with her and my sisters. She loves it so much and that makes it way more fun :)

For some unknowable reason, I had the song “Bring Me to Life” by Evanescence stuck in my head? Really strange, but the chorus kind of fits perfectly in the stretch of silence right before Sully asks his first officer if he has any ideas… Would be pretty awesome if someone (a comedian perhaps?) did an extensive investigation into Sully’s life and why that song fits so precisely in that crucial moment. 

Watched with my whole fam. Big hit with everyone. Sisters were both floored. Mom had lots of minor suggestions for how the movie version of the flight attendants could have done their jobs better. We love Clint Eastwood in this house.

Manages to evoke some really deep-rooted feelings of grief and fear. The gradual decline of Karen Silkwood’s health, community, and stability hits so hard thanks to Streep’s phenomenal performance. Lots of little mannerisms she incorporates as the film progresses that convey so clearly where Karen was at mentally and physically. The Karen at the beginning of the film is essentially a different person than who we see at the end after alls been said and done and that makes the subject matter all the more rage-inducing to sit with. It’s a wise move to prioritize this as a character study first and a conspiratorial thriller second because it makes the events portrayed more approachable and much more emotionally resonate.

“Times have changed.” 

Monsieur Gustave physically fights fascists without a moment’s hesitation in order to protect his beloved lobby boy. We should all be more like Monsieur Gustave.

Had seen this in over a decade and I’d begun to suspect my affection for it was purely nostalgic in nature. Nope. This is just wonderful. Anderson’s love of writers, and service people, shines and astounds and captures the heart almost instantly. Perfect movie to begin my 29th year with :)

Captures the quiet charm of the early Animal Crossing games, showcasing the beauty of the slow but steady age of time as the seasons slip by one after the other with a disarming sort of ease. Life is full of little moments that leave us laughing and crying and marveling at the world with the people we love. It’s all about community. So special, so sweet. Missed all these old songs, missed the personalities of all these OG neighbors, missed this version of the AC world more than I had realized. I’ve sunk a lot of hours into ACNH, but I do think I’d give up my island in a heartbeat if it meant I could play ACWW again.

Perfect movie to watch on my last night as a 28 year old. Like Ai, I’m hoping this new year will be the year I bake a cherry pie (metaphorically speaking lol) :)

Muriel’s Wedding is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. A film labeled a comedy to lure you in before it sinks its teeth in. I loved every second despite how ill-prepared I was by how much it would make me cry because of how utterly devastating at lot of this is. The nuclear family, picture-perfect image that is projected as the expected, ideal outcome for all women shoved down your throat until you’re left choking on it. Muriel believes life doesn’t begin until marriage with such certainty and desperation that so much joy and acceptance slips right through her fingers. It’s so painful to watch, but it’s also oddly comforting because it’s all so deeply vulnerable and honest. There’s three very well-placed split diopter shots here where the person in the foreground is lost in thought while in the background, someone else stands in a window or an open doorway. I found the imagery in these moments striking and deeply moving. The reclamation of self-love and joy in a world so keen to take that away at the end was such a relief to experience after everything that comes before. Well done, Muriel!

“Did you kill the monster?”

Very big fan of how all of the segments incorporated water with their own symbolic meaning and that proximity to water directly contributed to triumph in each character’s story. At once both a glorious showcase of what is possible within the medium of animation and even more proof that the Predator franchise is in good hands with Dan Trachtenberg… Prey made that clear, of course, but I think Killer of Killers really helps show just how deeply Trachtenberg respects and understands the franchise and all its possibilities. Had a lot of fun watching this! Definitely liked the first segment most.

Realistically, they absolutely should have adapted The Survivors as a movie rather than a miniseries. “The Survivors” isn’t Jane Harper’s best book, I might even argue it’s her weakest, but it is a solidly paced mystery that keeps you hooked until the end. However, that mystery is…. maybe two hours worth of story max.

A lot of the stretching of the story to fit this extended format comes in the form of expanding on characters and their relationships with one another. On the one hand, I like these relational expansions because they really help communicate the larger themes of the book. On the other hand, Harper’s work is so engaging because it is so insular. Her main characters are internally grappling with extremely intense feelings of guilt and grief and part of the appeal comes in feeling so connected to them as they navigate these spaces. Tapping into that sensation for an adaptation is already an uphill battle, but the incline is certainly increased here with how much wider the focus falls. This isn’t a story just about Kieran anymore. That’s not entirely a bad thing because it does feed into the feel of The Survivors tight-knight community setting. Everyone knows everyone’s secrets and it does seem beneficial for us as an audience to be clued into as much as possible too. It does also make this the weakest Harper adaptation though.

Urgently need to extend massive praise to the cast for a collection of really great performances though! Especially Charlie Vickers and Robyn Malcolm whose strained mother and son dynamic is the driving force of the entire series (until it’s suddenly not). 

I miss Aaron Falk so much. Please Robert Connolly and Eric Bana, come back and make Exhiles: The Dry 3.

End made me cry. At once a riveting descent into how easily conspiracy runs free through the power structures of America and a horrific articulation of how women’s suffering is commodified for entertainment. It’s like an oracle whispering a warning about the impending true crime era. Yet again I’m at odds with De Palma’s work in that his visual quirks go stupid hard but the stories he writes, and how women exist within these stories, almost always rubs me the wrong way. I appreciate the coiled discomfort his work leaves me with but it does make me question just how much I gel with what he makes outside of the gorgeous look of everything.

“I’ve loved you all my life. Even before we met. Part of it wasn’t even you. It was just a promise of you.”

The Firm is already an incredible legal thriller, but what elevates this from very good to great is that Dave Grusin score. So romantic, so mysterious, all the swirling paranoia and desperate clawing to regain hold of one’s life as it spirals out of control is found in his music. It’s kind of unbelievable to take in because it does feel like all the pieces fell almost perfectly into place here. Even in its earliest moments, where it’s easy to mirror Abby’s skepticism about the firm, the score keeps us questioning our own gut instincts.

The other element of the film that I found so engrossing was Abby and Mitch’s relationship. “It doesn’t become real until I tell Abby,” Mitch its at one point and we see that belief acted out in how he communicates with his wife. It adds an extra layer of stakes and heightened anxiety because even though these issions relieve some of his inner turmoil, they amplify the peril they find themselves in. 

End moved me to tears because it’s just so killer. Putting Tom Cruise, Jeanne Tripplehorn, and Gene Hackman in a film like this together truly feels like a match made in heaven. And then, for bonus points, the wider ing cast is equally as electric. There’s a moment in this that reminded me of The French Connection and it rocks so hard. FUCK!!!! This is SO GOOD!!!!!!!

Still find this curiously charming. I think because it is just stuffed to the brim with great comedians, and probably also because the vitriol directed towards Fresno is something hyper-specific that I understand. Feeling trapped in the Bay really does make you like that sometimes! More interesting to think about this one after seeing the fledgling version of this story in Made in Cleveland.

“I bet we were fun.” :(

No other MCU projects make me laugh as much as the Guardians films do. That fact makes the emotionally heavy moments all the more impactful, that shift from joyous delight to devastating anguish hitting all the harder. I’m not sure there could have been a better way to wrap up this specific piece of the MCU. This crew, this family, is one of the best in the franchise and there’s so much sadness felt in seeing them part ways, but because James Gunn respects these characters so much, this transition feels natural and makes complete sense. We’ve seen these characters go through so much and develop so fully as individuals and each decision they make at the conclusion of the film feels exactly like where they need to go next. Rare for that to be the case in any sort of trilogy setting, but especially within this universe. 

In short, I loved it. I’m really, really going to miss this team.

For this month’s House of Heroes episode, we covered GotG Vol. 3!!! A very high, high for us as we dive deeper into Phase Five. Secret Invasion is next…. I’m scared. 

I’ve been scratching my head wondering why game-accurate Ellie Williams wasn’t in The Last of Us Season 2. Turns out she’s been massacring her way through Ballerina this whole time.

Rules when it lets Eve dominate the screen. I love that her physical shortcomings are acknowledged and require an extra level of ingenuity when it comes to how the action sequences play out. This really loses steam for me when it feels the need to insert John Wick and offer him the spotlight. These moments are always temporary but shows a larger unwillingness to let this universe expand to its full potential.

Oh!!! Also!!! This uses “Chokehold Cherry Python” by ashnikko very briefly which rules because that song was originally written as a possible theme song for Jinx in Arcane. Lovely to see it find a home here with another murderous woman.

I’m excited to listen to my friends who love John Wick very much talk about the new John Wick prequel :) House of Cinema Episode on Ballerina coming next Tuesday

The wailing frustration of an ego check that keeps ramming into you every time you start to inch into the lead. The tumultuous presence of mortality forever in the rear view, chasing you down. The grandeur of racing towards your dreams and grabbing hold of them when it matters most. All the magic and adoration I’ve seen people direct towards Top Gun, I found here within Days of Thunder. Referring to this as a rehash for Top Gun feels like such a disservice and a reduction of the wider focuses that prevail here. It’s all so unapologetically ionate and deeply moving. I felt really drawn in and like I was held tight until that final, magnificent freeze frame. Tony Scott’s romanticism shines through in a really effective way that makes every moment matter. Wowee zowee, I loved the Tom Cruise racing movie!

This review may contain spoilers.

“That’s a matter of perspective, friend.” 

That talk Ethan has with Donloe is the glue to the whole film I think. As Donloe illustrates how Ethan’s actions had a positive impact on his life, we can see the weight on his shoulders lighten. Before this scene with Donloe, we’ve learned Ethan is in many ways one of The Entity’s creators. The truth of this is something he frequently reflects on, his role in the larger picture essentially haunting him. In the Sevastopol scene, there’s this moment where Ethan thinks one of the corpses is pointing right at him, their mouth wide in a frozen scream of accusation, “YOU did this to us. This happened because of what YOU did.” It’s just one flash in a silently horrifying sequence but its inclusion feels essential. Can Ethan do what he needs to if he’s carrying these bodies with him? Donloe frees him from this burden, points him back towards the mission with a corrected perspective. This talk they have is beautiful, it’s almost confessional in nature, borderline holy. In returning the knife to Ethan, Donloe cuts the tie weighing him down towards that darker, more cynical perspective. Ethan has improved lives before, and he can do it again, one last time. 

I LOVE YOU, ETHAN HUNT. I LOVE YOU, WILLIAM DONLOE.

Such a neat premise but the actual execution really loses steam for me once the actual goal of the characters is revealed. Jamie Foxx and Dominique Fishback are fantastic. I love when Joseph Gordon-Levitt does a tough guy accent, it puts a silly smile on my face every time.

The draw for a lot of people, I suspect, is Jamie Babbit’s contribution. In that regard, this is really interesting because what she directs here is the starting point of her feature length film Addicted to Fresno. As an anthology film, Made in Cleveland grew on me as it went along. Every issue these unconnected characters have is relatively small in scale, but there’s enough effort by everyone involved to make them feel very, very important. Some of the realities of making a film on a small budget bleed through, most notably with the sound design. There’s a short with an extremely vulnerable conversation in it that has a leaf-blower running in the background of all the dialogue and that does dilute some of the impact of what’s being said. Despite its faults and awkwardness though, I think it’s still something I found myself really enjoying and valuing. Shoutout Cleveland, I guess! Somehow, you have charmed me.

There’s a point near the end that started to really freak me out with just how bleak it seemed to be. But in typical Byrne fashion (he’s a bit of a softie imo), he reeled it back just enough to not totally drown me in despair. Feels a bit too loose narratively to work completely. There is something intriguing about how this presents this idea that artistic expression can open a doorway to the other side and block out the noise from that side as well. Hmmm!!! Had the film explored that a little more intentionally, I think this would have all worked a lot better.

To describe The Life of Chuck as overwhelming feels almost like an understatement. If as we age, our lives begin to narrow, this offers us a different perspective, one where we begin at the inevitable final point and trace our way backwards. In doing so, our lives widen, our worlds enlarge, our universes stretch, all those multitudes inside us become redefined and tangible once more. Could not stop thinking about dialogue from the final episode of Flanagan’s The Haunting of Hill House: “I loved you completely. And you loved me the same. That’s all. The rest is confetti.” because that’s what this feels like. 

You’re in a crowded room and it is full of all the people you love and know and by in your daily life and everyone is dancing. You’re looking up at the ceiling and it’s raining confetti. It tickles your cheeks as it falls and creates a shower of color that forms pools at your feet. With every step the confetti is kicked back up into the air, swirling around you.

How wondrous, how magical, how very, very Flanagan this all is. It’s just really overwhelmingly lovely.

On the surface, this is going to come across as divorced from the rest of Babbit’s work, most notably because it lacks the queer lens most of her stories direct themselves through explicitly or in subtext. However, I think The Stand In settles in nicely within her filmography because its foundation is exploring an experience that feels very intwined with the queer experience. At its core, this film is all about coming to with one’s identity, a painful process to begin with, but especially when the pressures of the outside world are encouraging you to deny your true self for their personal gain or comfortability. Barrymore delivers two performances that get to ping pong between the absurdly out there and the disarmingly intimate and it makes for an enjoyable watch. There is a certain degree of repetition here that alludes to a difficulty to extend this concept to feature length, although I still appreciated the story for what it was quite a bit. Lena Dunham cameo rules so hard.

At times, this plays a bit like a more explicitly queer Wild Things. Lots of questioning motives and doubting what people’s true intentions are and lots and lots of twists and turns. The argument can, and I think should, be made that Breaking the Girls has far too many twists. By the end, this feels all tangled up within itself and it’s difficult to pluck out takeaways that feel long-lasting. Loads of fun despite its slower plot though!

Despite all its murder, I can’t add it to my Women Who Kill list :( All the killings happen in a way that obscures the perpetrator. Shame.

Everything about this is prickly, every moment taking us deeper into the darkest corners of suburban secrets. Felt like sticking your hand blindly in a drawer and coming back with a hand full of needles or glass. The home is perpetually half-built, preventing any sense of protection or comfort for the girls as they are forced to experience the nightmares that thrive in the hazy shadows. Really heavy, difficult subject matter told through Babbit’s particular penchant for angst and honesty. Those rare moments of tenderness really shine through and help anchor something that would otherwise feel a little too cruel. It’s messy, but the mess is part of the appeal, particularly given what it’s showing. All that pretty sheen and polite formality hiding the rotting insides. Not sure if it’s more revolting to see everyone pretending not to notice the smell or the sight of all that nasty rot splattered across the floor once they finally cut it open.

“It was inescapable, my father’s depression.”

Wrote about why I think this is such an under-appreciated gem of the 2000s last time I watched it. This time around, all I really have to say is I love Off the Map even more and I think it’s time to add it to my list of all time favorites.

If you love Aftersun, you should absolutely be trying to watch this.

Shares a great number of similarities with Bring Her Back. Part of why I think The Surrender works so well lies in its slower opening, that careful crawl attuning us to the characters’ wave lengths in a way that makes for a more satisfying build up and payoff. The desperation that oozes from this is thick and almost choking, whether it’s a desperation to not let go or a desperation to understand or a desperation to get back home, everyone here is hurting and pleading for an outstretched hand in the dark.

This is how I realized Elaine Carroll and Colby Minifie are two different people.

Watched how god intended: 9:25 AM Sunday screening, theater mostly empty, just me and a handful of fellow dudes, all of us watching solo. The second the credits started we all jumped up and hurried out of the theater, avoiding eye with one another.

Lone wolf style, bay-bee ദ്ദി(˵⎚ᴗ⎚ ˵ ) ✧

Genuinely nothing funnier than Tim Robinson screaming in outrage over his dirty clothes and everyone around him has to just stone-face it. So many great bits, so many terribly uncomfortable bits. Gasped VERY loud at one point. All of it is movie magic secret sauce. Not sure if I should be elated by or fall to my knees and scream “NOOO” into the heavens over the fact I was blessed with the genes that makes Tim Robinson funny to me. A blessing, a curse, a constant threat that I too will be the guy that takes the bit too far and alienate myself from all of my peers. 

IM DOING SOMETHING.

Billionaires self-destructing in a fit of petty squabbles as the rest of the world suffers. So… just your average Tuesday at this point.

Always a great day when Ramy Youssef is in something new. Otherwise, this is a take it or leave it type of straight to streaming film that I anticipate forgetting about entirely by the end of June.

“So trapped in the modern age…”

Oh, I am SWOONING over this. The central romance is conveyed so well and I think that’s because the world at large is so captivating and all-encoming. Combining a love for analog with a desire for technological progress makes for an aesthetic space that is infused with so much curiosity and appreciation and makes for an excellent source of conflict within our two leads. This desire to leap forward colliding with the inescapable tendency to hesitate in personal lives and romantic partnerships alike. It’s all very, very moving, probably because it’s animated so beautifully. 

Such a shame this was unceremoniously dumped on Netflix because I think there is something so special and worth experiencing here.

The hot person to no charisma ratio is off the charts. How does one manage to fill a movie with so many beautiful, usually fantastic actors and have it amount to nothing? Most sauceless movie of the year methinks.

I do thank this movie for helping remind me that it’s probably time to cancel my Apple TV+ subscription again.

While watching, I was hit with an overwhelming realization that one of the very first anime I ever watched, Hellsing, was heavily influenced by Vampire Hunter D. To an extent, I felt like I was watching an extended version of that series’s first episode. Really exciting to see where a work I’ve loved for so many years got its inspiration. 

As an individual work, Vampire Hunter D is a delightful time. Vividly violent, mysteriously atmospheric, and charged with a sort of energy that a lot of contemporary anime lack. Contemporary anime is mind-blowing in how it depicts its scenes, sometimes I can’t believe what I’m watching because of how detailed and insane it is (*cough cough* Solo Leveling *cough cough*), but honestly, I think I’ll always appreciate the more simplistic styles of 80s, 90s, and early 2000s anime. This film is beautiful and also very strange and that combination makes for something that es into the ethereal. Loved every second. 

Shudder has a restoration available to stream now for the film’s 40th Anniversary and it looks SO good.

The appeal of Talk to Me, at least to me, was in how it had a nasty bite to it. One that clamped down and locked, refusing to let go even in its final moments. In its dying breath, it shook its head, tearing up even more flesh. Bring Her Back feels almost like the opposite. Something that snarls and raises its hackles but when it comes time to sink its teeth into you, it’s almost timid and quick to retreat the moment it starts to draw blood. 

For something that early reactions described as “evil” and “mean”, I was struck by how withdrawn this comes across. The Philippou Brothers know how to construct an unnerving image, especially the kind that leaps out at the most unexpected moment, but in their sophomore project, the intention of these moments feels less focused. I almost want to describe its attempts at examining its larger issues to be a bit on the aimless side. There’s an interesting story here in the intersection between grief and abuse found in the home and in the foster care system, but it’s not one we fully see. There’s a vague shape that takes form but it’s too blurry to fully appreciate and I can’t quite pinpoint if that’s because of how much it prioritizes those unnerving images, it just doesn’t know how to fully merge all its ideas into something particularly impactful, or if it’s a combination of both those things.. 

Luckily there’s some great performances and neat shot compositions to keep things at least mildly interesting. And!! I do like the fixation this has on the desire for One Last XYZ. One last cuddle, one last word, one last look, one last moment together. Like I said, there’s something there in that particular experience related to grief, it’s just not verbalized in the movie itself.